Old Men Break my Heart

Trying to recover from my one month (to the day) infatuation with someone twice my age. Mid-dinner date-when my cheeks were hurting because I was laughing so hard-I decided that he was absolutely perfect and too good to be true. This was, of course, before I knew that he was almost 42.
I'd really like to know what my problem is with older men -suggestions welcome. I am certainly not very mature. I have the humor of a five year old, I've got life as figured out as a seventeen year old and I've got the temper of a three year old. And yet the people I meet that I could really fall in love with happen to be old old old. Where are all the hilarious 26 year olds?
I swear this guy is the funniest, sweetest, happiest guy I've ever met. When he decided we shouldn't date last night he said he didn't want me to be spoon feeding him when I'm only fifty. I want to plead, COME ON I'll spoon feed you in thirty years if you still make me laugh! Also wanted to ask him why he asked me out in the first place if 19 years age difference is an issue for him, and why he continued to call me for three weeks and when exactly he decided he couldn't do this thing between us. And of course he's all the more perfect for having an issue with the age difference, because if he didn't he'd be a creep.
Ah, trying to let go of the giddy bundle of hope that has been building up in me over the past three weeks that we were in different states and I was looking forward to getting to know him.
My coworker Jaime said I need to just live my life. That got me to thinking...what is living my life these days exactly? Well at night I actually yell and swear at my radiator because it sounds as if one hundred pieces of metal are clanging around and having an angry fiesta. Another coworker suggested I pour tequila in there and get those pieces of metal drunk so that they pass out and leave me alone. Haven't tried it yet. So after having a one way yelling match I wake up grouchy and go to work and smile hopelessly whenever I hear the old man laughing and think of a million reasons to walk around so I can talk to him. Then I come home and think about wanting a more stimulating meaningful job, wanting more friends, wishing I had internet so I could entertain myself, or a car so I could volunteer or go hiking or kayaking. I was thinking of all the things (not material, just general) I don't have in my life last night and decided popcorn would make me feel better and when I realized that I don't have a microwave I started crying. Pathetic really.
I'm going to go to a conditioning pre-try out soccer practice now for a women's league. Trying to be more proactive about life...